He's for free!
by Damsel in Shining Armor
Summary: Everyone needs a little piece of Byakuya now and then. Get your daily dosage now! "I am not an item for sale. Ergo, I cannot be considered 'free'."


**A/N: **This oneshot is dedicated to Byakuya's wife, _Lady of the Round Table. _Read her stories. Put her on alert. And remember that the 6th squad's captain is off-limits.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Bleach.

* * *

_He's for free!_

* * *

Utilizing all of his lacking stealth and non-existent ninja abilities, Renji crawled through the air vents. Upon reaching his destination, he removed the tile separating him from his target and grabbed onto his weapon. It was the moment of life and death. It was the moment that would determine whether he would live the next week in a bed, injured and broken, or gloating and grinning... but still injured and broken. Hanging his upper body from the ceiling, his feet still securing himself in the vent, he reached forward and tied the cloth around the target.

Heaving a sigh, Byakuya crossed his arms. "What are you doing?" he asked warily as he felt the soft item cover his forehead.

Renji stiffened and broke out in cold sweat. "A-Ah, you see, um, uh Kuchiki-taichou, stuff, well… err, happened," he intelligently replied as he jumped down and appeared behind the taller, older, _stronger and scarier _man. Byakuya turned around to narrow his eyes at him. Renji tensed up even more. Given, his captain had undergone quite a dangerous mission that had left him severely injured. At the moment, he was in the process of recovery, but that didn't mean he wouldn't be able to bankai his vice-captain's ass once he's back in tiptop shape...

But his current state of vulnerability only came once in a century!

Byakuya's ever loyal, kind, and trustworthy vice-captain laughed good-naturedly to hide his mischievous intent. "I made a deal with Rukia…" he pointed to his forehead that was free of the usual white cloth, "to see if I could put it on you." He placed his hands together and bowed deeply. "Please show it to Rukia, taichou! _Please_! I'll do anything!" he pleaded.

Byakuya placed his hands on white cloth to remove it… but upon seeing his lieutenant's puppy face, he instead securely fastened it behind his bangs and onto his forehead. "Very well, just don't show me that pitiful face ever again," he told him.

Brightening up incredibly, Renji grinned. "Thank you! If I remember right, she should be patrolling by the gate!" He bowed again and started walking backward. "Thanks again, taichou!" Byakuya only turned around and walked towards the gates in response.

Once his captain was out of sight, Renji placed his hands behind his head and walked off casually.

Byakuya was going to murder him later, but every great thing came with a sacrifice!

* * *

Holding up his seemingly frail, wrinkled hand, Yamamoto effectively stopped the movements of the quick Kuchiki. Chojiro's lips twitched slightly as he observed them.

Byakuya gave a curt nod. "Yamamoto-soutaichou," he greeted. His eyes landed on the hand in front of him. "Is there something you need?"

He lowered his hand and walked over to the young man. He placed the hand that was atop the cane to the side and spread out his other arm. "Come closer," he commanded. The smile on Chojiro's face was easily noticeable by now.

Reluctantly, Byakuya complied and walked closer to the Gotei 1's captain. Was he perhaps suspicious of his person? Maybe he was troubled of the injuries he had sustained? Or had he unexpectedly broken some sort of law or code-?

Byakuya blinked.

The captain-commander was giving him a one-armed hug. Within a second, his vice-captain appeared behind the two and enveloped them all in one large embrace.

Right. Okay. This was perfectly normal... (Have these old geezers lost their rockers?)

Unable to think of a suitable reaction, the two already detached themselves from Byakuya. Chojiro once again appeared behind Yamamoto, the smile still fleeting across his face. But this time, even Yamamoto had a noticeable upward curve on his lips. "Ah, that felt good. Keep up the good work, Byakuya," he said in a hearty tone before moving to the side and walking past him.

"... Understood," he merely replied as the two of the oldest Shinigamis turned a corner and were out of sight.

Byakuya stared at the empty halls, an unreadable expression schooling his face.

And life went on.

* * *

The next hallway he so happened to sojourn through had a little earthquake now and then. Even so, he continued walking, ignoring the heavy thud on the wooden boards. There was only one person of that weight that was careless enough to not even lighten his footsteps.

"Kuchiki-taichou," came a female voice from behind him.

Turning his head to face the captain and vice-captain of the second squad, Byakuya gave them a blank look. Soi Fon crossed her arms and tilted her head up to properly look at him. A displeasing frown graced her small face. "I... was not expecting this," she muttered.

"Ohohoho," guffawed Omaeda, small particles of food spewing out of his mouth. He walked over to Byakuya and patted the man on the back with the hand that wasn't holding his constant bag of rice crackers. "You're a good man, Kuchiki-taichou, a good man with a nice pair... But I just don't swing that way, y'know?" he remarked with a grin. Word had gotten around fast on Byakuya's recent dangerous mission and the aftermath. Of course, he would still stand a chance – and maybe even win – against a fight with Omaeda, but it felt good to not feel as tense around someone so strong and mighty. He was relishing it and it was delicious!

The loud voice was grating on his nerves so Byakuya merely sidestepped away from the large man, almost causing him to fall with the loss of support. "I advise you not to speak so vulgarly in front me or your captain," he said with a narrow of eyes. "And I haven't said anything to warrant such a comment."

Soi Fon and Omaeda stared at him for a good two seconds.

The vice-captain gave a consoling nod to his captain. "I think I understand now... The poor guy's way tense." Before Byakuya could question him on whom this "poor guy" was – which better not be _him _unless the second squad wanted to kill off their lieutenant – huge hands suddenly appeared behind him and reached towards Soi Fon.

Omaeda was hugging him from behind, his large hands also managed to get Soi Fon into the mix and whose front body was thus pressed to Byakuya's own. He was sandwiched between the two and it was _not _comfortable in the slightest.

A tick appeared on the other's captain head though. "And who said to add me into this stupid request?" she said in a shaking voice, immediately causing Omaeda to let go of them. In a split second the two had disappeared, no doubt playing a game of cat and mouse... a game of a very fast cat and a considerably fat mouse. Byakuya would've pitied the man, but he couldn't find it in himself to do so.

After a second of pondering _what the hell _just happened, Byakuya patted off the crumbs on his clothes and continued with his walk.

* * *

"Ah, Kuchiki-taichou, good morning," Unohana greeted with a kind smile. Beside her, Isane bowed deeply.

Byakuya was willing to admit that he was fairly glad to come in contact with people that seemed – _seemed_ – perfectly sane and calm. Since earlier, the captain-commander seemed – _seemed_ – like a normal fellow, but he was the initiator of all these coincidental meetings with other squads. This was the third today; he did _not _want to meet any more. "Good morning," he acknowledged back to both the high-ranked females in fourth squad. Before he could continue on his walk, Unohana's hand quickly rose up to stop him.

"And just what are you doing walking around?" she asked, that lovely smile still framing her serene face. "You have sustained considerable damage from your last mission..." She sighed and shook her head slowly. "Not to mention how you have been overworking yourself lately. Rest is as important as productivity," she advised in earnest.

She was the one to treat his injuries, so he knew she was only concerned of his well-being... But he had no time to waste on rest. In a way, was not his brief walk to Rukia already a form of rest? He wasn't buried under piles of paperwork nor out on a life-threatening mission, could not Unohana realize how great such an effort was for him _not _to take up such tasks?... Okay, so maybe he only took a brief break from work because of Renji, since seeing the full-grown man's puppy face was a very disturbing image that Byakuya never wanted to see again.

... It unconsciously sent shivers down his spine recalling the memory.

"I am currently taking a break, Unohana-taichou," he said, eyes still in a deadlock with her own.

Unohana continued on in her soft voice, "Taking a break would be sitting down and sipping tea or better yet, _sleeping_, not walking around so briskly, Kuchiki-taichou."

Isane gulped as she turned her head from speaker to speaker. Two of the calmest – and strongest – captains in the Gotei 13 were having a bout, what could she do?

"Such stagnant behavior would only lead to a more difficult physical state after recovery. And I believe that my body can consider a brief walk as relaxing," he replied in a calm manner. No one was dim enough to raise their voice at the fourth squad captain, and Byakuya was by far among the most intelligent in Seireitei.

But the woman wouldn't let him _walk_ without a scolding. Was he that much of a workaholic? Of course not!

A sigh escaped her lips before she smiled fondly. "Very well..." She walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just... refrain from taking up too many responsibilities." She gave him a hug which literally struck him speechless. "You have many comrades ready to assist you, Kuchiki-taichou." She let go and smiled again. "We will always be here for you." Isane beamed from behind her, a kind smile also framing her face.

Unlike the past two... embraces, Unohana's seemed genuinely in-tune with the conversation, so Byakuya gave a curt nod. "Thank you for the kind words," he said politely. The three then parted ways.

"Why did you not hug him, Isane?"

"E-EH? I-I-I couldn't do that! You were more than enough, taichou!"

As their voices died down, Byakuya vaguely wondered how he became to be viewed as a giant teddy bear that _allowed _hugs.

* * *

Thankfully (Mercifully?), the next captain he ran into was without his vice-captain – which meant little probability of a conversation to strike up. Byakuya only locked eyes with Komamura before facing straight again. That was enough of an acknowledgement between the two-

A sudden furry hand rested upon Byakuya's head. He automatically froze up as his gaze lifted to see that it was Komamura who did the foul deed.

The _dog_-like captain was patting him on the head like _he _was a dog. The sheer irony of the situation was uncalled for and rendered Byakuya taciturn.

The seventh squad captain chuckled and resisted the urge to ruffle Byakuya's prim and neat hair. The look on the noble man's face was positively priceless! "I don't think we're close enough for the full thing, so this should suffice," he said in good nature. He lowered his hand to his side and stared at Byakuya approvingly. "You aren't so bad after all."

Byakuya tried not to feel the top of his head, just in case the hybrid placed something or ruined the fix of his kenseikan. He'll check later. "What do you mean?" he inquired with a frown. He might get an answer to the odd things happenings today.

But the taller man only chuckled. "I used to think you weren't much of a... social person." He patted Byakuya's head again – much to the latter's chagrin. "But I'm sure you're a good companion, allowing such displays of affection and all."

Byakuya did not remember _allowing _Komamura to pet him like some kind of canine.

The hugs earlier were tolerable, but this was not! His fingers twitched for his Zanpakutou, but he stiffened when he realized it wasn't attached to his waist. He had left Senbonzakura in his room due to a relative's incessant badgering on how he wouldn't need it for a simple walk around. No wonder the others from earlier were completely unabashed to approach him so directly! He still had kidou, but his current state wouldn't make it very powerful... But how could this vulnerable state of his trigger so much unwanted attention?

"... Aa," he merely replied. Komamura smiled, or well, what could be deemed as a smile with his large mouth, and walked away.

Byakuya contemplated on getting his Zanapakutou before meeting Rukia. He did not want another incident like this to happen again... but he was already of considerable distance. He might cross paths with Renji and the latter would hound him on what was taking so long and mock him saying he expected such a fast captain to have accomplished the request already... He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before continuing down the hallway.

* * *

"If it isn't Kuchiki-taichou! Doing well?" Shunsui asked with a smile and tip of his hat. Nanao gave a small bow beside him.

Byakuya had managed to escape the compound without encountering any other high-ranking official, but it appeared that the roads of Seireitei were also crawling with captains and their lieutenants. Was there some sort of emergency? Was it even possible to meet so many captains within a single hour?

He instinctively looked up to check any beams of light that stereotypically appear whenever a ryoka invades. Things only got this messed up when outsiders came. Who knows? After speaking with the eighth squad's captain, he might just turn a corner and run straight into Ichigo...

How abysmal.

"I am of acceptable health," he answered with a curt nod. He was about to walk away – escape– but the sudden chuckle that came from Shunsui caused him to remain in place.

"Kyoraku-taichou!" Nanao admonished, pushing up her glasses with a small frown, "Please don't be so rude! Kuchiki-taichou might think you're ridiculing him!"

He didn't until she said so.

"I didn't mean anything bad by it," he assured them with another of his usual smiles. "I just find it very hard to believe that you are walking around with your own free will."

This again? Byakuya sighed. "This-" He was cut off when the captain in pink walked over to him and enveloped him in a hug.

Shunsui patted him on the back. "There, there, Kuchiki-taichou," he said in a soothing tone.

What was he _now_? A little boy?... Given, it was a step-up from dog, but _still_.

Nanao's lips twitched, as if restraining a laugh, her anger long diminished... but the small flush on her cheeks was evident against her light skin. Two muscular men of high standing were hugging... She let a bright smile frame her face.

Byakuya was about to push him away, but Shunsui had already detached himself, flashing another of his smiles. He tipped his hat again. "Good day, Kuchiki-taichou. Come on, Nanao-chan," he said and walked past the captain of sixth squad. Nanao gave a quick bow to Byakuya, a certain twinkle still in her eyes, before following after her captain.

Placing his index finger and thumb to his chin, Byakuya thought very deeply. Perhaps Aizen had come and placed an illusion on him. He could probably be releasing a pheromone for such unwanted physical contact. Or maybe Renji or even Yachiru were playing some practical joke. Maybe even Rukia was in on her childhood friend's joke– no, that was impossible!... Right?

He quickened his pace towards his precious, little, quite suspicious sister.

* * *

The tenth squad captain was a young genius, someone Byakuya believed would grow up to be even greater – therefore, he should be sane and not at all engage in stupid things like... _hugs_. But he had forgotten that no matter how serious and mature Hitsugaya was, he was still young... well, as young as a century year old can get. And young people were naïve, seeing as how Matsumoto always had her way with him. So if _she _were to start something, he would have no power to stop her.

The well-endowed vice-captain placed an arm around Byakuya's shoulders and beamed. "To what do we owe this pleasure, Kuchiki-taichou~?" she asked in a singsong voice, a cheerful tint in her voice.

If he didn't know any better, he would say that she was _laughing _at him. "I wasn't searching for you," he responded dryly. He needed to get out of this situation _now_. The mischievous glint in her eyes was only becoming more prominent.

But right when he turned slightly to walk past them, something touched his back – something undeniably soft and considerably large.

Would this be considered lucky or not? It was obviously rude, hugging someone from behind out of the blue. But it was _Matsumoto_ he was talking about-

Right then, he suddenly felt something press against his front – something undeniably small and considerably ticked off.

"Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya exclaimed, a tick visibly appearing and a tint of red caressing his cheeks in embarrassment. His vice-captain had managed to reach out to him while he was in front of the two, and add him into the large embrace.

It was strikingly similar to his situation with Soi Fon and Omaeda. Even Hitsugaya's feet no longer touched the floor. Since when had Gotei 13 started accepting such small captains?

A height requirement should be in order.

However, unlike with the second squad's case, Hitsugaya's anger did not affect Matsumoto at all... in fact, her laugh grew even louder – as if teasing a little kid.

Perhaps an age requirement should be issued as well.

"A hug now and then is good for you!" she exclaimed merrily to the two locked in her embrace. Before either of the men could retort, since neither had the lack of manners to hit a woman, she had let go and laughed again. "Ha~ah, that felt good," she said, "Nothing like good physical contact with a cute kid and handsome man!"

Small fists were clenched. "I am not a kid!" he replied indignantly to her before facing Byakuya and giving a curt nod. "I apologize for her rude..." But upon saying his apology, he had looked up to properly see Byakuya's face. There was a brief moment of silence as he stared at the taller man.

Byakuya looked down at him, wondering why he had gone silent.

"... behavior," Hitsugaya continued. But... something seemed different.

It looked like the respect in Hitsugaya's eyes for Byakuya diminished.

Not wanting to find out why, Byakuya bid them farewell and continued on to where he was headed. The loud cheers of Matsumoto and scolding of Hitsugaya were heard even meters away.

"Don't you dare pull that prank on me as well."

"Why, I wouldn't even dream of it, taichou~!"

Upon hearing that, Byakuya's suspicions were confirmed and he quickened his pace.

* * *

"Byaaku~un!" a high-pitched voiced yelled out.

By the time he shifted his eyes to where the voice came from, something had clasped onto his haori. Bringing his gaze down, he saw a crown of pink hair, and along with it, Yachiru clinging onto him, arms and legs wrapped around his torso. The prospect of him being a life-sized stuffed toy that allowed hugs was getting better chances.

She snuggled her head against his chest... Darn it. He had forgotten to bring preparations in case he crossed paths with the mini vice-captain. Fortunately, his only hope in solving this situation arrived. Kenpachi stopped a few steps in front of them, a wary look on his face.

Byakuya unattached the little girl from his torso and held her by the back of her shinigami garb towards Kenpachi. "I believe this is yours," he said, handing it over to him.

Yachiru only giggled as she moved her arms and legs flamboyantly in excitement. "Ken-chan! You try too! Byakun's really, really, really soft compared to you!"

Byakun tensed. It was understandable that Kenpachi was more... "hard" because of his muscles, but the three "really"s were not necessary.

The eleventh squad captain raised an eyebrow at the two, not bothering to get the girl offered to him. A grin began to cross his face, until it turned into a hearty – mocking – laugh. "I'm okay. Cling to him all you like," he told his vice-captain.

"Yay~!" she exclaimed as she tried to turn around and hug Byakuya again, but her small stature and his grip kept her from doing so. "Let go, Byakun! I'm the one that's supposed to hold onto _you_!" she whined in a petulant manner.

"Since when did I allow-?"

A loud growling sound disturbed his sentence.

"... Was that a Hallow?" Byakuya voiced out his thoughts.

Yachiru pouted and crossed her arms. "It was my stomach! Byakun is so mean! Not only does he tease me but he doesn't let me continue my hug! Hmph." She began struggling again so Byakuya finally let her fall to the ground. She went back to Kenpachi and climbed on his back. "Let's go eat, Ken-chan. I'll see you later, Byakun!" she said with a wave, already having forgiven and forgotten his rude behavior.

Byakuya waved back out of pure politeness, not because he was thankful the cotton candy haired girl was gone – no way.

* * *

No, no, no. Of all people to bump into, why _him_? He knew the past hour was filled to the brim with coincidences and near-impossible encounters, but he had hoped that whatever driving force was causing this would not make him bump into _him_.

"Ah, Kuchiki-taichou, what a surprise," Mayuri said, Nemu right behind him.

He wasn't going to give him a hug too, right? There was some mercy left for Byakuya somewhere, _right_?

"What nonsense are you up to now?" he continued in a displeasing voice.

Byakuya decided not to comment on how he had never caused any notion of "nonsense" before, so the "now" was entirely inappropriate in his statement. "None whatsoever. Now, if you'll excuse me," he said, turning slightly to the left to continue on his way.

Mayuri stared at him for a second before walking the opposite way himself. Nemu did the same, but her stare lingered a second longer... as if she wanted to do something, before she followed after her captain.

As he turned a corner, Byakuya narrowed his eyes in suspicion. His encounter with the twelfth squad's two high-ranking officials was actually quite uneventful and normal...

It was a shame to realize that the only sane person today was Mayuri.

* * *

The two expectant gazes he was receiving were none too comfortable. In fact, as the seconds passed, they inched closer and closer.

Byakuya resisted sighing at their expected behavior. "Where is Rukia?" he asked, hoping to sound as nonchalant as possible despite the awkwardness the two members of Squad 13 were causing.

"She's patrolling over aaaat that area!" Kiyone said, pointing towards a rest house by the gates. Sentarou crossed his arms and nodded, eyes still fixated on Byakuya.

He nodded in thanks before heading over to the direction, their whispers too loud for him to ignore.

"Maybe it's only restricted to captains?"

"Eh? Darn it! If only Ukitake-taichou wasn't sick in bed today – that'd be the best manly show of affection ever!"

He stopped walking. The two shinigami tensed up and held their breathes. After a brief pause, he continued to where his little sister was patrolling and the two sighed in relief. Despite everything that had happened today, at least respect was still given to him when due... now if only the other captains were as just low-ranking...

"My shift isn't over yet-" Rukia said, before shutting her mouth as she noted who the footsteps belongs to. "Nii-sama, what are you...?" She looked up at him.

She bit her lip and her eyes began to water.

Byakuya took a step forward, "What-?"

"Ahahahahahahaha!" she laughed, clenching onto her sides.

His concern was regretted.

"To... think... that, pft, Renji had the gu-guts to- Hahahahahaha!" Rukia had tried to sound coherent, but her loud laugh won out in the end. Upon receiving Byakuya's glare though, she immediately sobered up and coughed.

"What prank have you and Abrai been playing at?" he asked, his voice blank and monotonous. He had survived throughout the day without unleashing any anger. He was not going to let out in the end. Sure, her laugh was as mocking as Omaeda's and Kenpachi's, but the fact that she was both lower than him in rank and family status was quite unnerving.

Rukia let out a sheepish laugh, "Uh... it was just something to help you relax, nii-sama..." She gulped and gestured to her forehead, a sign for him to check his own.

Placing a hand to his forehead, Byakuya felt the familiar white cloth that Renji had told him to wear. He mentally cursed at how he had forgotten he was wearing the accursed object in the first place. He untied it and quickly flipped it over to see what was on the side that everyone had witnessed.

_**FREE HUGS**_

There was going to be blood spilled tonight.

"We're sorry!" Rukia quickly said as she sensed the deadly aura coming from him. "You've been working too hard lately, so I figured I needed to do something to make you calm down and get rid of all that tension and... yes." She forced out a laugh. "... I was not expecting Renji to do it for me though," she muttered.

So, it was done in good intention. The means were degrading and horrible, but good intentions nevertheless.

"Do not ever do this again," he said, pocketing the white cloth. He was going to use it to gag a certain someone later.

Rukia beamed. "Of course! Never again, nii-sama!" The crossed fingers behind her back were not apparent to her older brother.

There was a brief moment of silence. Rukia looked anywhere but at Byakuya. It looked like he was not going to punish her, but she wasn't going to take any chances.

A movement suddenly caught her attention and she focused her gaze back on him. He had his arms outstretched, his gray orbs boring directly into her own.

Byakuya had received hugs, semi-hugs, and comforting gestures from almost everyone of importance in Seireitei. Instead of comforting him though, they made him more stressed and troubled. But it was the thought that counted, he supposed. So it was odd that the person who planned all this was not willing to give him a hug. In a way, hers would probably be the only one that could calm him down after his lively trip.

And he... was expecting one from her after the turn of events.

"Do not expect me to say anything," he merely said.

A smile quickly spread across her lips as she ran over to him and wrapped her arms around his lower back, her head only reaching right below his torso. Slowly, but not at all hesitatingly, Byakuya lowered his hands and enveloped them over Rukia's small frame.

It was the first time he hugged back.


End file.
